"“I didn’t think it was possible for an ordinary rock to become more worthless.""
- John Oliver, on Roger Stone selling signed $12 stones
Quotes
"“This is Trump’s worst nightmare come true. I mean, his second-worst nightmare, after the one where he’s chased by stairs and salads.” "
- Samantha Bee, on President Trump campaigning for the Republican governor of Kentucky, who lost
"“I feel bad for Don Jr. Today he walked into the White House and said, ‘Dad, I have a new book,’ and Trump was like, ‘Oh no — I, uh, lost my reading glasses.’”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“He spent the last four years saying he’s going to build a wall nobody would be able to penetrate. The minute they cut through it he’s like, ‘Well, yeah, if you buy a saw.’”"
- Jimmy Kimmel, on President Trump's border wall
"“If you told him to read Hop on Pop, by page three he’d be rambling how great the chicken tenders are at Mar-a-Lago, how zebras are loser horses and how he invented the word ‘dog’.”"
- John Oliver, on why President Trump reading a transcript of his Ukraine call in a fireside chat is not a good idea
""There’s like so many steps before you can actually punish an American president. Congress impeaches presidents like white parents discipline their kids: ‘Young man, if you don’t listen, I’m going to tell you again. And then if you don’t, I’m going to talk to your father and then we’re going to talk with our therapist.’”"
- Trevor Noah
""We believe political message reach should be earned, not bought.""
- Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey, announcing Twitter will stop accepting political ads
"“We like creating cultural impact and nurturing great value from our IP. Our creators also see the value in rolling out shows gradually and letting them breathe.""
- Chief Content Officer Kevin Reilly on HBO Max's release strategy
"“Then Trump turned to Melania and was like, 'Wow, they really don’t like you.’”"
- Jimmy Fallon, after President Trump got booed at the World Series
"“The First Amendment is first for a reason. The Second is just in case the First doesn’t work out.”"
- Dave Chappelle, accepting the Mark Twain Award at the Kennedy Center
CynCity
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