" "With COVID-19 and the associated risks, it is not safe for our athletes, and the health and safety of their families and the broader Canadian community for athletes to continue training for these Games.""
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- The Canadian Olympic and Paralympic Committees on their decision not to send athletes to Tokyo this summer
"“Coronavirus is the Harvey Weinstein of diseases. It doesn’t ask for your consent. Kids act as thought coronavirus will ask for permission before jumping into your body.”"
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- Trevor Noah
""We are basically living in a disaster movie in which the president is being played by Gary Busey.""
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- Jimmy Kimmel
""Maybe the only upside to this virus is that I can now blame it for the days I stay in, talk to no one, watch movies, and eat frozen pizza.""
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- Conan O'Brien
""I read about a company that started selling packs of 20 pre-made Jell-O shots. Americans heard, and we’re like, 'Forget Purell, just give us that!'”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""I hope we can soon return to a time when cruises were considered just normal levels of 'kinda gross and unappealing.'""
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- Conan O'Brien
""The NBA is suspending all games indefinitely. That’s insane. It is terrible news for NBA fans and every team except the Knicks.""
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- Seth Meyers
"“Biden is the clear front-runner now. You remember when that guy Nik Wallenda walked on a tightrope across that active volcano? That’s what it’s going to feel like watching Joe Biden open his mouth every day between now and November.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Today, ‘Wheel of Fortune’ filmed without an audience as a protective measure against the coronavirus. Things are so bad over there, Vanna is now turning all the letters with her elbow.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“And once again, we’ve learned it’s never good when the words ‘coronavirus’ and ‘Cruz’ are in the same sentence.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon, after Senator Ted Cruz announced he's under self-quarantine because of the coronavirus
