""I'm starting to miss things I hated.""
- Conan O'Brien
Quotes
"“The real problem is you can’t make Americans do anything. We just won’t. If you tell us to do something, we won’t do it. We only exist because someone tried to make us pay extra for tea once.”"
- Jimmy Kimmel, on demonstrations against state shut-downs
"“He says he’ll stop all funding until a review has been conducted. Stopping funding to an organization that handles pandemics in the middle of a pandemic is like slashing your own tires because you’re mad you woke up late for work.”"
- Jimmy Kimmel, after President Trump said he'd halted funding for the World Health Organization
"“Obama said he knew Biden was the right candidate once he was absolutely sure Michelle wasn’t running.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
""That’s a very powerful message for the country — if two 80-year-old men can successfully log into a Zoom meeting, anything is possible.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel, on the joint livestream announcing Bernie Sanders' endorsement of Joe Biden
"“Ever since being diagnosed, I have been more like America’s dad than ever before since no one wants to be around me very long and I make people uncomfortable.”"
- Tom Hanks, hosting SNL
"“He’s pushed Medicare for all into the mainstream, he’s shined a light on income inequality, and how corporations have used money to rig the system in their favor. And he showed us all that it’s OK to use our outdoor voice indoors.” "
- Trevor Noah, on Bernie Sanders
""Many experts right now are arguing that the most responsible thing to do during coronavirus is just have everybody mail in their votes. Oh, and for my younger viewers, mail is when you have like a message and you send it to someone in a piece of paper. It’s like a Tik Tok but in an envelope. Oh, and an envelope is like an app, but you open it physically, with your hands.”"
- Trevor Noah
""Even if Trump wanted to wear a mask, you know she’d be running around the White House hiding them in places he’d never find them, like inside books, or under piles of vegetables.” "
- Jimmy Kimmel, after First Lady Melania Trump tweeted asking everyone to take wearing a mask seriously
"“Hi everyone. Thanks for not being here.” "
- Ellen DeGeneres, doing her show from home
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