Quotes

"“Usually when you see something like that on TV, it ends with a voice saying, ‘It’s time to ask your doctor if Abilify is right for you.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon, on President Trump's Rose Garden press conference
""At least they don’t have a lot of old people down there. Or at least, thanks to their governor, they won’t in about three weeks.”"
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- Stephen Colbert, on Florida holding the Republican National Convention during the COVID-19 outbreak
"“I didn’t know you could get a COVID test and a colonoscopy at the same time.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon, on having a nose swab test
""He's a man of incredible loyalty and he's a great friend. He may be the best friend a man can have. So my hat's off to him.""
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- Roger Stone to Fox News' Sean Hannity, about FNC's Tucker Carlson
""Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.""
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- Charles de Gaulle
"“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”"
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- Ellen DeGeneres
""Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.""
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- Lily Tomlin
"“The NBCUniversal News Group is not going to wait for change to happen and just react to it. We’re going to lead.”"
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- Cesar Conde, chairman of NBCUniversal News Group, informing employees of a workforce goal of 50% diversity
""All the criticisms are valid. The sheer tonnage of complexities & failings of these people I couldn't get. Or wrestled with but cut. I took 6 years and fit as much as I could in a 2.5 hour musical. Did my best. It's all fair game.""
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- Hamilton's Lin-Manuel Miranda, responding to criticism about the play's depiction of slaveholders
""I have honestly never known a kinder person. But Covid doesn't care about the purity of your soul, or the goodness in your heart.""
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- Zach Braff, on best friend Nick Cordero, who died of coronavirus complications at age 41
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