"“Maybe one reason why Trump is struggling to go after Kamala Harris is that his heart’s not in it because — and this is true — when she was running for attorney general in California, Trump donated to Kamala Harris’s campaigns twice. Wow, that is embarrassing — for Kamala Harris.”"
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- Stehen Colbert
"“Only Donald Trump is weird enough to have a beef with the mail. Every day, he’s less and less like a president and more like a neighbor in a sitcom.”"
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- Trevor Noah
"“Just so we’re all clear, during a historic pandemic that has crippled the economy, the president of the United States signed four executive orders to help the unemployed from his private country club. Even Marie Antoinette was like, ‘Come on, man, read the room.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""I'm excited to announce the launch of Twatch, my new live streaming service where you can watch me assemble jigsaw puzzles.""
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- Conan O'Brien
"“President Trump’s re-election campaign yesterday asked the commission on presidential debates to add a fourth debate with former Vice President Joe Biden. Oh, totally. I mean, any chance to gain some additional insight into these elusive mystery men.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“He basically tried dating other shows and ended up back with his ex: ‘Well, well, well, look who came crawling back.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon, on President Trump being interviewed on Fox News after Axios on HBO
"“If you don’t know Jonathan Swan, he’s an Australian reporter, which is fun because we got to see a Trump interview go down the drain in the opposite direction.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon, on an Axios on HBO interview that did not go well for the president
"“At first Trump was confused because he thought TikTok was the name of ‘60 Minutes.’” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
" "History, when taught well, shows us how to improve the world, but history, when taught poorly, falsely claims there is nothing to improve. So we have to teach it well and continue to learn it.""
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- John Oliver, making the case that schools need to do a better job of teaching US history
"“We’ll still have the election on Nov. 3, but he’ll probably just add a hundred days to August. And sure, maybe the court overturns it, but that might not happen until August 73rd.” "
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- Trevor Noah, after President Trump suggested the election be postponed
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