"“President Trump is being criticized, very much, for using the White House as a backdrop for political television. But today he fought back, and he was like, ‘Oh, I get it — no one criticized President Martin Sheen when he did it on ‘The West Wing.’”"
Tweet It
- James Corden
"“The G.O.P. drew just 15.8 million people, while the first night of the D.N.C. attracted 18.7 million viewers. Unfortunately for Trump, Nielsen doesn’t have an Electoral College; nor does it count the millions of people with their TV sets off who still heard Kimberly Guilfoyle’s tortured cries echo through their dreams.”"
Tweet It
- Stephen Colbert
"“Tonight was the start of the Republican National Convention, a week of speeches, celebration and white people walking up to Ben Carson saying, ‘Wait, aren’t you the one that died?’” "
Tweet It
- Trevor Noah
""How do I patent my weird fork that can slip under masks?""
Tweet It
- Conan O'Brien
"“He’s accused of stealing money from people who thought they were donating to build Donald Trump’s wall — because you know, you wouldn’t want criminals sneaking into the country.”"
Tweet It
- Trevor Noah, on Steve Bannon's arrest
"“That’s like Trump’s entire list of enemies. The White House must have restrained him tonight like he was Hannibal Lecter.”"
Tweet It
- Jimmy Fallon, of the night Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren spoke at the Democratic convention
"“That was ice-cold. And what made it even more devastating was that Michelle Obama wasn’t angry, she wasn’t yelling, she just stated Trump’s complete failure as a president as an obvious fact. You know, it’s the difference between your mom screaming at you and your mom just casually sipping a coffee and going, ‘Well, not all kids can be winners.’” "
Tweet It
- Trevor Noah
"“They had a montage of the other Democratic presidential nominees voicing their strong support of Joe Biden. I assume Marianne Williamson wasn’t included because she was busy teaching a forest gnome how to use a crystal to talk to a wish.”"
Tweet It
- Stephen Colbert
""It’s frankly amazing how slow Trump is to respond to so many things like, I don’t know, public health crises, yet when it comes to amplifying racist conspiracy theories, suddenly he’s The Flash on cocaine.”"
Tweet It
- John Oliver
""He just admitted that he’s not agreeing to a deal to fund the Postal Service because he doesn’t want mail-in voting to be possible for the election. Trump’s like one of those movie villains who spends so much time explaining his plan out loud that the good guy manages to shimmy out of his handcuffs.” "
Tweet It
- Jimmy Fallon
Read More Quotes
