Quotes

"“St. Patrick’s Day during Covid is pretty strange. You’ve got to stay six feet apart, or as Irish dads call it, hugging.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""I can’t say that I’m surprised that Trump isn’t making an effort to get people vaccinated. I mean, the man barely did his job when he had his job; you think he’s going to start working now? For free?”"
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- Trevor Noah
""This year’s Oscars air on April 25, two months later than usual, because if anything’s good for ratings, it’s a four-hour award show about online movies that came out a year ago.” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
""Everyone here is following all Covid-19 protocols and guidelines. In fact, this is going to be the rare awards show where the white stuff going up people’s noses is cotton swabs.""
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- Grammys host Trevor Noah
""It’s been exactly one year since we’ve had an audience, and I’ve got to say, I really miss the laughs, the energy, and of course, keeping the lost wallets.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“The administration says a large number of Americans could receive their $1,400 stimulus payments before the end of March. Do you know what that means? There’s finally going to be an end of March!”"
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- Stephen Colbert
""After months of criticizing Meghan Markle for making an emotional exit, Piers stormed offstage in an emotional exit.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon, after Piers Morgan walked out during his morning show
"“The ratings were so big, ABC just offered the couple their own weekly show called ‘Royal-ish.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon, on Oprah Winfrey's interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex
""When it comes to the Royal Family, I always root for the woman who married the ginger.""
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- Conan O'Brien
"“The 600-page bill will be read aloud in the Senate for 10 hours. This is the political equivalent of making someone come to your improv show.”"
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- James Corden
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