Quotes

"“This interview was so all-over-the-place, you’d think Matt Gaetz owned a pillow company.""
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- Jimmy Kimmel, on the Florida congressman's interview with Tucker Carlson
" “Stanley Tucci is a friend of mine and you, my friend, are no Stanley Tucci.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel, on Jimmy Fallon's pizza-making skills
"“I knew it wasn’t a good look, the great snowflake-basher running away from confrontation. And on reflection, I shouldn’t have done it.""
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- Piers Morgan, on walking off the set of "Good Morning Britain"
"“During his press conference, President Biden said he supports changing the rules of the filibuster to require senators to stand and speak, like it was when he was in the Senate, quote, ‘120 years ago.’ Now, obviously he misspoke — 120 years ago, he was still in college.”"
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- Seth Meyers
""I feel so bad for the captain of that ship that got stuck in the [Suez] canal because we’ve all been there, trying to make a U-turn on a narrow street. But now imagine how much more stressful it must be when you know that if you back up wrong, you might bump Egypt.” "
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- Trevor Noah
""Thanks to DoorDash, you can now get a Covid test delivered right to your home along with, I’m assuming, 40 packets of ketchup.”"
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- Trevor Noah
""Hot tip for Miami authorities: If you want young people to stop partying, don’t instate a curfew, just invite a few dads.” "
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- Stephen Colbert
"“Asian American and Asian immigrant communities have been feeling extremely vulnerable for a long time and especially so right now. And for a group whose suffering has historically felt invisible to the media and the country at large, it’s important that we acknowledge that pain right now.”"
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- John Oliver
"“The N.C.A.A. March Madness basketball tournament began today, and it’s extra exciting because there was no tournament last year. So this is my first chance in two years to get furious at 19-year-olds I hadn’t heard of five minutes ago.”"
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- Seth Meyers
""Consumers have already decided the future of media, and it’s streaming.”"
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- David Cohen, CEO, IAB
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