Quotes

"“The war in Afghanistan has been going on for almost 20 years. To put that another way, this war is too old to date Matt Gaetz.”"
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- Stephen Colbert
""You might have a 0.0001 percent chance of getting blood clots from this vaccine, but if you get coronavirus, you can get lung damage, heart damage, neurological damage, strokes, seizures, Guillain-Barré syndrome, immune disorders, erectile dysfunction and, get this, also blood clots.”"
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- Trevor Noah, on the J&J vaccine
"“Matt Gaetz, Florida congressman and fraternity brother who wants to show you something in his room, has been under fire since news broke of him being under investigation over possible sex trafficking. But like a Karen in a Bath & Body Works, he refuses to back down.”"
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- Trevor Noah
" “The 2021 Oscars, brought to you by razor blades, Kleenex, and rope. Please welcome our host, the sad emoji.”"
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- Bill Maher, on the "depressing" list of Best Picture nominees
"“How does Mike Pence have enough material to write two books? I feel like I can summarize his entire life in two sentences. One, he was vice president. Two, a fly landed on his head.”"
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- James Corden
""Matt Gaetz really was the son Donald Trump never had, even though he had a couple.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“You know more people are vaccinated when pajama sales go down and Spanx go up.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""You’ve got to feel for the G.O.P., because they spend so much time defending corporate interests, trying to cut corporate taxes, letting corporations do whatever they want, and then the corporations are just like, ‘Cool, now we have more money to pay Colin Kaepernick.’” "
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- Trevor Noah
"“It’s also being reported that [Florida representative Matt] Gaetz may have paid for sex with women he met online. That story has since been confirmed by his whole vibe.”"
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- SNL's Colin Jost
"“Remember: the Duke is never gone. He’s just waiting to be binge watched all over again.”"
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- Shona Rhimes, on Regé-Jean Page's exit from "Bridgerton"
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