Quotes

"“President Biden called on Congress last night to create a new agency to develop breakthrough treatments for diseases such as Alzheimer’s and cancer, and who knows, maybe even narcolepsy.”"
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- Seth Meyers
"“I know Rudy Giuliani is a high-powered lawyer, mayor of New York City, adviser to the president of the United States, but I still picture his office above a repair shop right next to a palm reader’s.”"
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- James Corden
""According to the C.D.C. charts, if you’re vaccinated, you can go eat outdoors now without a mask on, as opposed to before, when you had to wear a mask while you were eating.” "
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- Trevor Noah
"“This was the Oscars that finally answered the question, ‘What happens when you don’t cut off acceptance speeches?’ Turns out, they go on for a very long time.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“I have to be honest, if things had gone differently this past week in Minneapolis, I might have traded my heels for marching boots.” "
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- Oscars presenter Regina King, referencing the guilty verdicts in the trial of Derek Chauvin
"“The power has to be wrested from the folks who’ve had it for too long, because it’s not being freely given. We’re not going to get there through hopes and dreams. It’s got to be through shattering the system, and creating a new way.”"
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- Director Ava DuVernay, in the New York Times
""The problem of police violence against people of color is still far from solved. While this is a welcome verdict, it’s like wiping up a spill on the Titanic: Good job, now let’s focus on the water pooling around our ankles.” "
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- Stephen Colbert
"“4/20, of course, is a holiday for pot smokers and pot eaters who celebrate 4/20 by doing pretty much exactly what they do every day.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“That’s right, a little helicopter detached from a rover and now they’re both exploring Mars. Or as Pixar put it, ‘Sold!’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“Three payments for $500, $500, $250, labeled ‘ice cream’; five other payments labeled ‘salad.' One of those ‘salads’ cost more than $1,000 — I guess they added avocado.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel, on Matt Gaetz' venmo transactions
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