"“For now, Cuomo’s still governor, because, for reasons I do not understand, Cuomo’s resignation will take effect in 14 days. Evidently, he gave himself two weeks’ notice.” "
- Stephen Colbert
Quotes
"“I hope you enjoyed them, because with global warming, even the Winter Olympics will soon be the Summer Olympics.”"
- David Spade, guest hosting "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"
""Next time this problem arises, let’s make sure banned countries have a much clearer asterisk on their participation, so instead of an obviously flag-themed tracksuit, let’s put them in a Shrek-themed sweatshirt paired with shit emoji slippers and a lobster hat.”"
- John Oliver, on Russia's Olympics punishment for doping
"“It’s like if somebody is running the 100 meters and they have a weight around their ankles. That is not a fair judge of their speed.”"
- Former Olympics host Bob Costas to the NY TImes, on the shrinking audience for the Games
""I will have their backs, and the backs of other private public sector leaders if they take such steps.”"
- President Biden, after Disney, Netflix, Fox and other companies instituted vaccine requirements
"“No workplace should be in danger of shutting down because it loses one person. Unless that is, that workplace is the 'Sex and the City' reboot. What are you thinking? It’s never going to work without Kim Cattrall. It’s not that any of you are bad it’s that you only work together.""
- John Oliver
"“That’s pretty rich coming from a guy who couldn’t even win a fight against his neighbor on his own front lawn.”"
- John Oliver, on Rand Paul saying endangered Afghan translators should stay and fight the Taliban
"“There is no merit whatsoever to this filing. The lawsuit is especially sad and distressing in its callous disregard for the horrific and prolonged global effects of the COVID-19 pandemic.”"
- Disney, responding to Scarlett Johansson's claim that Disney's streaming of "Black Widow" cost her millions
""We will work hard to manage retention and grow from here, recognizing we are unlikely to replicate such tremendous performance, but we remain optimistic.”"
- Comcast CEO Brian Roberts, on Peacock's growth
""Sure, streaming subscriptions are just as expensive as cable, but you also get to remember 18 different passwords.""
- Conan O'Brien
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