"“What is especially shocking about this result is that Joe Biden won Virginia by 10 points just a year ago. That is a huge swing, people. That’s like a Kim Kardashian going from Kanye to Pete Davidson-level swing.”"
- Trevor Noah
Quotes
"“Yesterday, more than 100 world leaders pledged to halt deforestation by 2030. Of course, to do that, they’ll need a detailed plan — that they’ll need to print out on thousands upon thousands of pieces of paper.”"
- Stephen Colbert
""The G20 leaders took a bold stand, pledging to achieve global net-zero greenhouse-gas emissions by or around midcentury. That doesn’t sound very urgent. It’s like calling 9-1-1 and having the operator tell you the E.M.T.s will be there sometime between the hours of noon and the funeral.” "
- Stephen Colbert
""When you've already told your Indian parents and the South Asian community that you intend to be an actor for a living, really any conversations that come after that are super easy.""
- Kal Penn to People, on coming out as gay
"“The company says, ‘The name Facebook is not going away, but from now on, we are going to be Metaverse first, not Facebook first.’ But don’t worry — the self esteem of teenage girls will always be last.”"
- Stephen Colbert
""Democrats scrapped the tax on billionaires and now they might tax millionaires instead. When they heard that, Kim and Kylie were like, ‘Yes!’ while Khloe, Kourtney and Kendall were like, ‘No.’”"
- Jimmy Fallon
""Everyone’s been talking about Facebook lately, and Mark Zuckerberg just announced that he’s ‘retooling’ the social media platform toward young adults and away from older users. Honestly, just make it a little harder to sign in, and you will never see an old person on Facebook.”"
- Jimmy Fallon
"“A group of U.S. news organizations last week began publishing a series of stories based on internal Facebook documents showing that the social media platform spreads misinformation, incites violence and facilitates human trafficking. Even worse, it gives people from high school a way to get in touch with you.” "
- Seth Meyers
" "It's so nice to be a small part of this show’s amazing history. A history that was fueled, for its first 25 years, by cocaine and adrenaline; its next 15 years by Starbucks and unhealthy comparisons; and the last six years by Adderall and fear, I assume.”"
- SNL host Jason Sudeikis
"“The man who told over 30,000 lies in office has started something called Truth. He’s also launched a new makeup line called Human Skin.” "
- Stephen Colbert
CynCity
Cynsiders
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