Quotes

""The big story continues to be Iran as we’re in day four of what the Pentagon is officially calling Operation Uh, Now What?”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“Wait a minute, you started a war in the Middle East and you didn’t even go into the office? You’re gonna ‘work from home’ it? How am I gonna get my writers to come into work when the president of the United States treats war like a Teams meeting?”"
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- Seth Meyers
" “As you know, this year, the show got a little bit of a facelift. Like many people in this room can understand, we nipped the ‘sag,’ and now it’s just the Actor Awards.""
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- Actor Awards host Kristen Bell
"“Of all the people mixed up in this thing — Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Howard Lutnick — they drag Hillary Clinton out of the woods to testify under oath, even though there is no evidence that Hillary Clinton has ever met Jeffrey Epstein. But why not harass the woman while you have the chance?”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“Classic Trump, though, he paused 12 times for applause and nine times to bomb narco speedboats.”"
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- Greg Gutfeld
"“[Trump's] speech went on so long, Kristi Noem’s dog shot itself.” "
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- Jimmy Kimmel
"“That’s always who you want to party with first when you win a championship, the director of the F.B.I. I remember when the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 and the first person that got a Champagne shower was Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.”"
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- Seth Meyers
""The Twitter that we may have once relied on and the Twitter that was fun and occasionally useful is just well and truly gone. And collectively, while it might be sad, it might be past time for all of us to, if I may borrow a truly poisoned phrase, let that sink in.""
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- John Oliver
" “Eric brought humility, humor, and visibility to ALS and reminded the world that progress is possible when we refuse to remain silent. Eric was more than a supporter of our mission—he was part of our family. His impact will live on in the research being funded, the policies being advanced, and the community he helped grow by his honesty, his bravery, and his belief in a better future for anyone struggling with this diagnosis.”"
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- Statement from I AM ALS about the late Eric Dane
""The days that these legacy media broadcasters get to decide what we can say, what we can think, who we can vote for are over.  I think President Trump played a key role in just smashing the facade that they still get to decide the narrative here.""
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- FCC Chair Brendan Carr, on Fox News
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