Quotes

"“Free Covid tests by mail. What a great idea if this was a year ago.”"
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- Jimmy Kimmel
""I think Biden just needs more time. He might be more of an acquired taste. Unfortunately, most Americans recently lost their sense of taste.""
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- Colin Jost, on SNL's Weekend Update
"“The White House says N95 masks are the most protective. Which is too bad, because I assumed the bedazzled ones I bought on Etsy were 100 percent Covid-proof.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
""The state of Florida let a million Covid tests expire in a warehouse, but now the F.D.A. has decided to extend the expiration dates. When they heard that, every New York hot dog vendor was like, ‘Is that really safe to do that?’” "
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- Jimmy Fallon
""I don’t know what’s going on because the United States reported 1.5 million new infections yesterday. That is terrible, but kind of sweet that we all gave each other the same thing for Christmas.” "
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- Stephen Colbert
"“Scientists are currently disputing a new study that claims to have discovered a so-called Deltacron strain of the coronavirus. It combines the Delta and Omicron variants, and the only thing that can stop it is the Pfizerna vaccine.” "
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- Seth Meyers
""It's time for somebody to come in. They need a major culture change, and it's very hard to change the culture of a company while it's the same people.""
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- Alex Stamos, former CSO for Facebook, on "Offline with Jon Favreau"
""Life is strange. You never say never. And we have some pioneers that are attempting to build a 5G keyboard phone with our technology and our licenses. So let's see how successful they could be.""
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- Blackberry CEO John Chen, on FBN's "The Claman Countdown"
""The C.D.C. announced that after you isolate for five days with Covid, you should take a rapid test if you have access to one. You can read more about it in this month’s issue of Unhelpful Advice magazine.”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
"“I saw that because of a huge winter storm, a 50-mile stretch of I-95 in Virginia was shut down, and drivers were stranded on the Interstate for more than 24 hours. Meanwhile, there was a dad sitting there like, ‘If I could just get over the one lane.’”"
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- Jimmy Fallon
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