""Russia’s walkie-talkies are being bombarded with heavy metal music from Ukrainian operators. OK, that’s not bad, heavy metal, but if Ukraine really wants to mess with Russian soldiers, they should flood their walkie-talkies with an unbearably long podcast.” "
Tweet It
- Stephen Colbert
""Do you really expect us to believe that Congress could plan and execute an orgy? At best, I can see them announcing an exploratory committee that would begin to investigate the feasibility of an orgy at a later date.”"
Tweet It
- Seth Meyers, on congressman Madison Cawthorn's claim that he's been invited to orgies by fellow Republicans
"“The only time there should be a seven-hour gap is when you’re trying to remember what happened on St. Patrick’s Day.”"
Tweet It
- Jimmy Fallon
"“To me, there’s only one more step to make this right: the Comedy Central roast of Will Smith, hosted by Chris Rock.”"
Tweet It
- Jimmy Kimmel
""Love will make you do crazy things.""
Tweet It
- Will Smith, after smacking Chris Rock onstage during the Oscars
""I can't think of another more dominating individual performance in any challenge in 'Survivor' history.""
Tweet It
- Jeff Probst, on Jonathan Young
""Despite the current state of affairs, Vladimir Putin is still planning to attend the G20 summit with other world leaders in Bali this fall. Which explains this year’s theme: ‘Awkward.’” "
Tweet It
- Jimmy Fallon
" “Now is the time to embrace change.""
Tweet It
- Kelly Abcarian, EVP of Measurement & Impact, NBCU
""Today confirmation hearings began for Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson. The hearing process will last four days. It’s basically C-SPAN’s version of Coachella.” "
Tweet It
- Jimmy Fallon
" “I promise I’ll be more charming on another occasion.”"
Tweet It
- Rita Moreno, after talking politics during her PGA Awards acceptance speech
